my boyfriend is so cute. he wakes up about two hours before me and reads the news in bed. this morning, his first words to me were "reese and ryan are getting divorced." i like to think of this as my contribution to his character. it's a give and take really, like, now i know all about venture capitalists and the speed of light, and he, well, now he knows who k-fed is.
i'm floating again and it is scary.
i've forgotten how to be normal.
how to make friends, or just chat with someone in a grocery store line.
how to get a job.
i feel really really really down. i got in last night from new orleans and tomorrow i am flying to houston. i wish i could just curl up for a week in my bed and eat pumpkin ice cream. (i went to the store looking for pumpkin ice cream this morning, but i guess they don't make it. here at least, maybe nowhere.) i'm tired of magazines and packing and taking off my shoes to go through security. and of waiting.
maybe this will sound stupid, but i go to new orleans mainly to visit my 4-year-old niece. she stayed home from school this week and we just did whatever around the house. played and cleaned and went outside and cooked breakfast and matched socks. it was so great. and now i miss her so much i feel and actual ache in my throat/chest area. i feel tears coming whenever i think about it and i see her little pink room when i close my eyes. i feel for her so much.
she still can't sleep alone in her room. whenever i am there she wants me to sleep with her. we brush teeth and put on pajamas and pick out books and read then turn off the light. she sleeps holding your arm so you can't leave. it's heartbreaking. she couldn't fall asleep on night she said because she couldn't stop thinking about dying and she doesn't want to die. fucking heartbreaking. the light night we switched places and i slept by the wall. i woke up a little before two a.m. and just stared into the dark for a while. i saw her grab for me in her sleep but she was looking on the wrong side so she didn't find me. she cried a little but didn't wake up.
so we are getting the coolest-ever christmas tree, ultra-cool! we saw it last year at a vintage shop on magazine street, but it was a week after christmas and we had no storage at the time. even so, we almost bought it and contemplated just leaving it out all year.
i spent a really long time yesterday searching the internet for retro christmas trees (am i crazy? it's not even halloween!) and couldn't find one like this anywhere. i also searched the art deco sites. so maybe it was one of a kind? anyway, i mentioned to my boyfriend how great it would be this year and he totally agreed and he called the store (which has since moved from new orleans to houston) and can you believe they still have the tree? so we are buying it and having it shipped (now we even have the storage for it!).
i can't wait to post pictures -- wait till you see this tree, it's so amazing!
a couple of years ago i got a charm bracelet. i've since been adding charms that signify things, events, people in my life. i haven't updated for a year so i am a little behind, i need:
for my new (and only) nephew:
for new york city:
for moving to new england:
for our trip to virgin islands:
for my new lifestyle:
i've had charm bracelets before that were bought all made up already, and i recently read that they are back in style, but this is extremely different. they're just cheap silver charms, but they are so sentimental. i especially love visiting my niece who will count the charms, open them, and recite what they stand for.
my coffee grinder.
flying alone.
writing out bills.
picking up drycleaning.
here's my concession to halloween decorations this year:
i didn't even really need to get this little candle holder, since our living room (below is the mantle) is spooky enough year round, but i liked the pumpkin cider-flavored tea lights and he is awfully cute.
so, yeah, the bones and skulls belong to my boyfriend's son. but the thing on the left is actually the coolest thing ever:
it is a blinking eye. all day and night it blinks steadily, (LOOK WHAT IT DOES!) and sounds like a softly ticking clock. it doesn't scare my anymore. i don't know how much it costs because it was a gift, but you can buy it from rufus at eyethinkinc. it really is cool.
actually, halloween has been a favorite holiday of mine although this year i am not sure what to do. my favorite used to be the french quarter with all its freaks in costumes, fun and drunk and scary people everywhere. now what? salem?
i've also started thinking about christmas and i love the idea of these aluminum christmas trees:
i have to say it would look so so much cooler in my apartment because my apartment is so so much cooler than that house. it looks sort of out of place there. i don't want to take christmas too seriously, and these would lool cool with our furniture and paintings. i'm not sure how to decorate it though. i also want to make stockings even though i've barely ever made anything in my life and probably won't get around to it. stockings are my favorite part of christmas. i want a skull one for his older son, a scooby-doo one for his youngest and maybe just a pink and blue one for him and i. names of course. we'll see.
