changes

My birthday was the start of a whole new life. A new time for feeling alive, for endless possibilities, for fulfilling potential.

I couldn't get rid of the feeling that everything was going to be perfect. And almost a month later, everything is. Perfect in the sense that now so, this is life fills me with satisfaction, hope, and excitement instead of the previous overwhelming feeling of disappointment, dread, and being completely lost. Maybe it's taking action, maybe it's having a new perspective, maybe it is Neptune after all... most likely it's the combination of all those things.

I've accepted that rectifying mistakes is an accomplishment in it's own right. Something difficult and something to feel proud of. I've always promised myself that I would never live with regret, and it's something I've been struggling with. I knew if I didn't change the way things were, I would be choosing a life of regret.

People might not understand the sudden changes and that's ok. It's the start of something new, but to me it's not sudden at all. It's finally being true. It's the ending of a path--not a wrong path because it's contributed greatly to who I am today and at the time I started it was right--and the beginning of another path. I've been going in circles and taking baby steps for a while trying to figure things out, instead of just taking the one big step aside.

I'm learning so much about myself, I've learned so much about myself in the last year and I like the person I am, the person I am becoming. Change is scary, but essential. Fear is no longer going to help decide my future, or my present.