disaster

Money is scary now. I know everything will eventually work out ok, soon really, but for now it's scary. For the first time in my life, I have bills that I don't know how to pay. My own stupid fault, for example, my cell phone bill this month is $450. How do you even talk that much? Why it never occurred to me that I was running up such a bill I don't know. I'm usually a pretty intelligent person. When I got the email yesterday, I needed chocolate. Literally. I had to go straight to the candy machine and buy a Hershey's bar with almonds. Did it help? For a minute, I guess, then the stress came right back. I'm trying to just not think about it, but I've never been this irresponsible and it's hard for me to accept.

And my husband cancelled our one credit card without telling me. Another first for me, having a credit card declined last week. Not having that in case of emergency plastic is scary. And then having a bank account overdrawn (by $600, how the hell does that happen?). So, all in all it's been a pretty bad week on the financial side. Not exactly the way I wanted to enter February, but what can you do? Just cross your fingers and look for a second job...

The good news is my impulse shopping addiction is officially over. I haven't bought anything in a month (ok, except this cd from Tower Records last week, but it was a present). Instead, I'll be adding like crazy to my wish list and posting things I want for later when I have money. Like the adorable tea cup below. I saw it when I was walking through the French Market Sunday. But it couldn't be justified, not even with my shopping logic.)