so much for making decisions...

we're moving, really moving, at the end of may. dg and i have different ways of looking at things, and his way rocks. i thought there was no way possible to move without tons of planning, research, discecting, but turns out you just move. can't believe i was getting frustrated, a month or two ago, over his lack of planning. isn't it just fine? why not just do what your doing when it needs to be done? will i ever learn to be like that on my own? i worry, then debate over and over whether i should be worrying in my mind, then finally stop worrying, and things just happen. will he rub off on me? i hope so.

anyway, we had decided to just rent a teeny little apartment on the beach, save some money, scout for exactly where we want to be, take time, see whether the ex and kids really do move, then we got a listing via email update from the real estator and my precious boyfriend fell in love. 100%. with a precious little farmhouse circa 1730 and not even slightly updated since 1950. never updated. i mean the thing barely has electricity and it doesn't have legal septice system even.

complete antique. and still costing more money than i probably will ever make in my life, and certainly i could buy a mansion in new orleans for the same price. the best part is that he is in love with the barn and wanting to convert it into a new york style warehousy loft sort of thing. we bought some design books, i tell you, he really has a vision, he's got me excited and so again, i'm trying not to be the negative voice here. like, he called yesterday with an idea for the bedroom, ready?, a thick frosted glass wall connected to the stereo system with pulsing laser lights inside moving in time to the music. isn't he adorable? i bit back the first thing i thought, which was: have you seen how filthy our bathroom mirror is? and you want a glass wall? cause hey, why not, maybe we'll have a maid by then [a fat ugly old one].

but like i said the thing already costs so much money and will need so much more and i have reservations about sinking so much into a 4,000 sq. ft. 1-bedroom barn - who's gonna buy that from us when we get old? or will we be 60 and climbing a three story spiral staircase to the disco bedroom? i'm going to make a new blog to chronicle the farmhouse, our modern country living.