23 August 2004

beginning drawing

I decided to drop beginning drawing. I said because I want to spend the time instead on personal growth and development.

I said it like a joke, but I meant it. Signing up for drawing was going to be a baby step, but when I thought about it, it would just be pressure, two nights a week sitting in class, and I know I'm no good at anything with everyone watching. So, I will have some time to myself. To learn and do some things I want to do. And he said, but will you really do anything? And I will.

I will paint, try to learn how to anyway. Something I've always
wanted to do. I’ll try watercolors. I’ve had the paints
for years and never used them even though I’ve always wanted
to. Why? I don’t know. But I’m going to get a book and
learn. And I will go ahead and buy some other
books I want
and read them to. I will write, I’ve been
spending time doing it lately and I will spend more. I will plan
my January vacation (and less importantly try to sell an article
or two about Honduras before I go). I will get an internship so
that I can finally get out of school. I will collect my work and
make some sort of a portfolio of it. I will volunteer at the animal
shelter like I’ve always wanted to do. At least once, and if
I hate it I’ll stop. Because most of all, I will not do anything
that I really don’t want to do.

Why am I writing this? To make it real. This
describes it perfectly, I read this the other day and it
was exactly what I meant:

Sometimes, when we only talk to ourselves, we do not hold ourselves
accountable for the changes that need to take place in our lives
to make us happier people... Its not as though you are becoming
the town crier announcing every event and all the small details,
its more like putting your inner emotions out on the page, but a
page where others can see. in that way, you and I, are more inclined
to do something about it.
(excerpt from his blog, hope that’s

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