23 March 2005

down swing

Nothing is right anymore. At first everyone was saying, you look so good, wow you've lost weight, and how did you do it. Now they look at me and say: you're getting too thin, are you eating? The same from my mother, I'm too skinny, I need to eat. The girl in my office has taken to bringing me candy everyday from the gift shop, a muffin from across the hall. Offering to pick up breakfast and lunch. I would have understood the weight loss, before, when I had sworn off junk food and coffee. Or when I went through the vegan diet kick. Or when I started doing that Aerobic for Dummies video tape. But the funny thing is, now, I'm back to eating everything and I'm still losing weight. Clothes I bought at Christmas are hanging off me and I've had to start wearing a belt again. I'm not complaining, but it's weird. I've always been like this I guess. Not this weight, I mean always either gaining weight or losing it. Never steady. I look at pictures from month to month over the last seven or eight years, and am always surprised by how different I look from easter, to the fouth of july, to halloween. It makes no sense. And now I'm on the down swing.

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