06 May 2005


i don't want to be famous or rich or powerful or envied, i just want to be happy. i want a job that i enjoy doing. i want love. i want a family. i want a really simple life. i want to be truly honest and still like myself.

we had a long talk last night about whether to listen to your brain or that little voice inside. my sister was really whacked. logically, she thinks she's being screwed. but her voice is telling her it's ok. that's she's happy. and if she's happy, the rest doesn't matter. it doesn't have to be ok for everyone else. it's your life. i knew everything she meant. i really did. i struggled with the same thing. but who cares what it looks like, if you know what it is. or believe, or choose to believe, or hope. because you never know, and there are such differences between the others.

i hate giving advice because i am so bad at it, and because i have so little answers for myself much less anyone else, especially someone so important to me. but she told me long ago: if you know it's right, don't try to make it wrong. more eloquently of course. that's all you need to know. oh, and my favorite-ist ever, that i stole from the priest, love extravagantly and leave the judging to God. but i've adapted it to love extravagantly. period. don't worry about the rest.

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