23 June 2005


i called him in new york last night. i thought it would be 12:30 there. it was 2:30 am. he called this morning from our cafe. where the people thought we were in love, and bet whether we were married.

i am tired and bitchy. i worked 8 hours yesterday, took a 20 minute nap, then worked 8 more. at the end of the shoot, the director said i can't believe we got through all these shots, i just put them down for the hell of it. and i said thanks for keeping us here until 1:30 am to get shots you didn't think you actually needed. and we both laughed but i was serious.

i got into bed, the house was so empty, but i didn't care. i sunk into the covers and woke up this morning at 8:30, which incidentally is the time i should arrive at work. i got in to a voice mail from one of my best friends saying to call she wants to update me on a couple of things. meaning: horrible things are happening, please call. i called, and horrible things are happening.

so, it's 10:30 am now and i have to leave at noon for a graduation lunch that's been rescheduled twice now. i'm tired and bitchy still and not at all pretty. i have so much work to do that i can't even think about starting it. i may be fired. and not because of the "indecent relationship", i had a nice chat about that and they don't care. at all. and they figured it out a long time ago. they said it's obvious in the way we look at each other. sweet, isn't it. so, we'll see what they say if she sends her letter. hoping maybe it'll take a few weeks to write.

and i haven't paid one bill yet this month. i don't even know where they are. and my sofa i bought on june 7, won't come in until august 14.

1 comment:

Supernaturally Sagittarius said...

In this world few things are beautiful, life is what passes you by as you search for beauty; Whips by, a roaring buzz like vehicles speeding on the highway, clicks and purrs and beeps and chimes, a massive life support system. Somewhere in there you catch a glimpse of a random broken moment and realize that beautiful just happens. You cannot squint till you find it; you cannot pray to trap it. It is and then it isn’t and that is part of what makes it beautiful.
You are beautiful, I am sorry that I do not say that enough.