fuck

i spent a long time yesterday organizing files on my computer and managing bookmarks. then i ate the rest of the ice cream and watched - listened - to phantom of the opera. right before bed i needed my real paper journal and dug it out of the closet. i wrote some then flipped to the last post. i couldn't believe i last wrote in my journal nine months ago. i was shocked at the passage of time, flying, then more shocked when it sunk in that the post said 3/16/04. 20o4! that was a whole year plus nine months ago! when so much time goes away and can't be accounted for, when minor tasks take up your to-do list and the majority of each day... it's happening again. and i have to stop it by any means necessary.