i don't know what to call this

something is wrong with jack. we brought him to the e.r. last weekend, and today to a specialist. i have never been so scared, and at the same time my heart can't even fathom the possibility of really losing him.

life, it is one thing after another, isn't it? i am so far from where i was a few years ago - inexperienced and naive. now i feel stronger and weathered. i give jack shots... if you had asked me a year ago i wouldn't have ever imagined i could do that. the last three years have brought to my tiny life: divorce, and marriage, the worst natural disaster in u.s. history, two cross-country moves, kids and exes, and even with all that enough love and happiness to make me feel mostly incredibly lucky.