top of my wish list

Now that I’m sort of not broke again (until the end of April when I quit my job!), I thought I might treat myself to something.

I tried to think of what I want. I can’t really think of anything I want. I guess I have some things on my amazon wishlist, and for some reason I really like this, and I’ve been wanting a teacup with the kettle thing built into it –
know what I’m talking about? I saw it once and can’t find it – but I really don’t want anything, not that i can buy anyway. I felt the same way last Christmas. I actually told my boyfriend not to get me anything, there was nothing I wanted (I forgot how they take everything literally, I mean a card would’ve been nice!).

I’ll tell you what I do want:

Bell to have a normal, happy life. My poor baby. I wish she was mine for real.

My parents to one day be able to put the money back into their IRA that they took out to survive Katrina. before it's time for them to retire.

My mom to find a job. Not for the job as much as for her self-worth. I know she is scared.

To stay in love. And to get married again, one day. And maybe have a baby.

To figure out what I want to do and feel confident in doing it.

For my boyfriend to be close to his kids, and his ex not to use them as pawns.

For my brother and his girlfriend, teenagers with a baby to be ok. Just ok, is all i ask. They are such good, sweet people. Especially for teenagers.

There are so many important things to want in this world, to wish for. I feel like I just don’t have the time and energy left to be excited about ordering a ceramic egg with petunia seeds in it. I wish I did.